Why do you get upset?

“What is fueling your feelings of disappointment, hurt, anger or resentment? Your spouse comes home – late again – why does this bother you? Maybe your spouse has had an affair, what truly hurts you about the affair? You see, what we’ve discovered through the years is that couples do not fight because of in-laws, finances, communication, or children. Couples fight because of something
far more significant.

The reason we get upset and then get into ugly arguments with our mate is because of fear. This is not the kind of fear that prevents you from turning off the lights in a room or walking down an empty street. But relational fears like rejection, disconnection, being controlled, failure, invalidation, worthlessness, or unhappiness.” http://smalley.cc/